Happy Thanksgiving!

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Ahhh, the night before Thanksgiving. I just left the city, which was buzzing more than usual thanks to the upcoming holiday. The subway was packed, but people seemed to be in a particularly good mood despite being packed in like sardines. There's something about the holidays the tends to bring out the best in people, but it's also a time that can be challenging for others.

I have a few friends this year who have chosen to play it low key for the holidays, opting out of the traditional routes and seeking solace in more quiet and private settings, keeping to themselves. Being a rather private person myself, I can respect and appreciate that. Sometimes the holidays do more to highlight the divisions in families more than bring them together. I think that many times we place so much emphasis on certain holidays' logistics that we forget the essence of the holiday itself. I've done my best this year to really take the time to focus on what holidays like Thanksgiving are all about....being thankful for all of the people and blessings in my life. And though we reserve just one day of the year to express this gratitude, let us be mindful to do this everyday. I'm thankful for each and every one of you! Happy Thanksgiving!

8 Days a Week

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It's 7 pm on a Saturday night and I'm finally getting settled in after being awake for over 30 hours and working on two movie sets. A few weeks back I had submitted for a 3 weekend gig for a movie called Man on a Ledge, which stars Sam Worthington, Elizabeth Banks, Jamie Bell, Kyra Sedgewick, Ed Harris, and Ed Burns. Shortly there after I was booked for 3 consecutive days on Mr. Popper's Penguins, which stars Jim Carrey and Angela Lansbury. I was so excited to be booked in advance for so many days that I hadn't really thought about what that kind of commitment would mean.
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It's now Tuesday and I'm finally starting to feel like a normal human being again. This past week was an amazing experience, but totally exhausting. After starting Wednesday-Friday at about 4:30 p.m. and shooting until between 6-7 a.m. for Mr. Popper's Penguins, Friday I headed straight to the set of Man on a Ledge. I actually ended up being late for my call time for Man on a Ledge because it was not initially communicated that Popper's Penguins would be a night shoot. Had I known that they were night shoots, I wouldn't have submitted for them since I had already committed to Man on a Ledge. I was one of about 20 people who faced the same predicament. It's a lesson learned that I hope to not run into again....for a few reasons. One reason is that it made me look unprofessional, which was my biggest concern. The other reason is because I never got to sleep. I'm still not entirely sure how I was able to not only stay awake, but function on a normal level with zero sleep. I think I was running on pure adrenaline.

With November coming to a close and the holiday coming up, I find myself a little less eager to work as much as possible this week. I'm taking some time to rest up after completely burning myself out and catching a bit of a cold as a result. Just checking in to wish everyone the happiest of holidays and remind you to take some time for yourself! Rest, relax, and try to only work 7 days a week...8 is a little excessive!

Just Add Water!

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So I guess I'm back to talking about love...or lack there of. Working as much I have been has led to a pretty much non-existent love life. I'm certainly not complaining about the amount of work I have lately, but it's definitely highlighted some other aspects of my life that are not quite as bountiful.

Because of the nature of my work, I meet new people almost daily. I'm a huge advocate of the benefits of networking and I'm generally a people-person anyway so I love this aspect of what I do. Amongst the people that I work with, every once in a while I meet a guy that show some level of interest.

I recently was on a set and was giving my number to a friend of mine. The guy who was walking with us made this his opportunity to also take my number...despite the fact it was not intended for him. I couldn't take my number back from him once he got it so I hoped he would just forgot he had gotten it.

I got home from the set that day and got a text. It was him. His first text was harmless so I responded. I try not to be rude...a trait of mine, which usually backfires more than not. Me trying not to be rude led to several more texts. At one point, he started sending me inappropriate and unwarranted texts ranging from wanting to be in a relationship with me to...well. I'll let you use your imagination. I finally wrote back to him and told him to give it a rest.

Despite the fact that I have so little time to meet, date, and start a relationship, I'd never rush into something just to have a boyfriend...especially a creepy one. My past experiences and level of standards make finding someone that much harder, but I know it'll happen when and if it's meant to happen. Until then, I'll try my best to avoid guys eavesdropping conversations to get my number. And just a note to people who think that having someone's phone number is an invitation to prompt a conversation about being in a relationship with them...it's not. There's no such thing as an instant girlfriend...I'm not mashed potatoes.

When Keepin' Up Real Goes Wrong

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A friend of mine works security at a few very well-known clubs in NYC. He meets any number of celebrities at these spots. So he called me yesterday to boast that his club would be hosting Kim Kardashian. His phone call was prompted because I had called him earlier in the week when I was freaking out about doing the Kanye West & Jay-Z video for Monster. I guess he thought that would be one up on me. I told him that if Kim Kardashian made amazing music that I loved that I might be jealous, but since she really doesn't DO anything, that I was still the "winner." I hung up the phone with him, shaking my head. It left me feeling a certain way even though I truly am unimpressed by any of the Kardashian girls. Their father is really the only Kardashian who DID anything worth mentioning.

It made me wonder what kind of hope is there for a regular girl like me when there are girls like Kim Kardiashian out there. She's got good looks and the money to keep them going. Where does that leave me? And then I got my answer. The same friend called me again today. He didn't even mention her while we were talking, but I couldn't resist asking how it all went. He said it was horrible. He said that she looked so fake...she doesn't have a single line on her face and that she looks disgusting. And there it was...despite the fact that women think that men want a perfect woman, what they really want is a REAL woman. Accordingly, that leaves me in a pretty good place in the world and gives me hope about people in general. Ironically the reality starlet lacks realness. I love the irony.

Lost & Found

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Tonight I lost the bracelet I got from the fundraiser for my friend's father who passed away this summer. I've worn it everyday since I got it- it's the only jewelry I have ever consistently worn. I'm not sure at what point I lost it, but I realized it when I asked the PA on set about a similar bracelet he was wearing. I pulled up my sleeve to reveal mine...only to realize it was one. My heart sank as I looked down at my bare wrist. I had no idea where/ when it had managed to slide off my wrist, but I had a feeling it might have been when I did my wardrobe change for the 2nd scene of the day.

I must've worn the look of heartbreak all over my face because my cast mates immediately asked me what was wrong. I explained to them what happened and somehow got to talking about the last year of my life leading up to the death of my friend's father. They listened intently as I talked about the turbulence of the last year and the strength of my friend.

When we wrapped for the day, one of the women I had made friends with on set suggested that I return to our original holding location to look for the bracelet. I was exhausted and it was a bit of a hike to go back, but I really wanted to find the bracelet. Being so tired, I wasn't paying attention and managed to walk about 5 blocks out of the way back to holding. Undeterred, I made my way back and searched for the bracelet. I look high and low...under the tables, in the bathrooms...everywhere. It was gone.

The PA was coming in as I was leaving. I told him that I couldn't find it and he expressed his regrets about my loss. I looked at him and said, "It's ok. It's just a thing." And for the first time since I can remember, I meant it. I know we say that all the time, but how many of us really mean it? We place such emphasis on things. But it was this very loss of a thing that I got to share something much deeper...the inspiration of overcoming obstacles and the amazing strength of people (as exemplified by my friend this year). And the bracelet that reminds me of such an amazing man who served us so bravely reminded me how important the people in my life are...not the things. In the loss of my bracelet, I found the importance of refocusing my energy on sharing my positive experiences and making the most of everyday.

I'm Starting My Diet...tomorrow...next week...after the holidays

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Eating machine. That's what my father calls me. He says I take after my mother in that regard. Gotta love the wonders of DNA. As I write this blog, I'm actually baking corn muffins...go figure.

As I've embarked on my career within the entertainment industry, my eating habits have become...well...awful. Since working on sets generally requires extraordinarily early mornings and long hours, I'm generally at the mercy of craft services. And for some reason, I always end up eating like 3 times more when I'm on a set than I would if I was home. Maybe because it's free? I'm not entirely sure of my logic.

I do my best to maintain my workout regimen, which is usually 5 days a week. There are certain weeks that my schedule just doesn't allow me to go to the gym as much...unless I skip sleeping. But for the most part, I'm able to fit at least an hour or two at the gym into my day regardless of how long I work. I try to imagine what I would look like if I wasn't working out to counteract my tremendous appetite. However, it'd be nice to actually look like I work out as much as I do. In order to accomplish this, I think I'm going to finally start my diet...again...tomorrow...maybe.

Single by Choice...or just lack of choices

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29...and single. Some days, this is the greatest feeling in the world. I don't feel like I squandered my "good" years being bogged down in a relationship (disclaimer: no judgment on others who found love during this time in their life- lucky you!). Other days...particularly lately...I'm feeling a little of the pressure that comes along with being almost 30 and being nowhere near a stable relationship or a family. On any given day, I usually feel like my "singledom" is a matter of choice. After all, I won't lie...I do have options when it comes to people wanting to date me. I feel a little odd coming clean about that, but I'm sure you know by now, I'm not one to bite my tongue when it comes to being honest about my life. 

The problem is not that there aren't people interested in me...the real problem is that the feeling just isn't reciprocal. I wish that I was interested, but it's just not there. Don't get me wrong, so many people have PARTS of the kind of person I'm looking for, but seem to lack the full package kind of details. And I know what you're thinking...you're too picky- no wonder you're still single. Well, tell me this...what PARTS am I supposed to be willing to compromise on? I mean really. Some things are super obvious and just too major to overlook. And some things are just against my own personal set of standards. For instance, it's not that I mind that a guy has children or has been married...but for me, I want to be someone's first. I want to be the first (and only) mother of their child(ren)...I want to be the first woman he watch walk down the aisle towards him, ya know? Is that asking so much? Well, the closer to 30 I get, it seems like it just might be. 

Another point of contention (don't judge me) are the car-less. In NYC, I get that having a car is an inconvenience depending on where you live. But a guy not having a car makes me feel like a chauffeur. And maybe picking a guy up wouldn't make me feel like SUCH a chauffeur if maybe they threw me a 5 spot for gas or something. Sure, I'm a woman of the millennium, but there's a recession going on. C'mon! And what happened to chivalry? 

Ok, I think I'm done now. I just felt like I needed to clarify WHY I'm single...since that seems to be the first question when I tell someone that I am...like there's something wrong with being single. There's absolutely nothing wrong with being single...when it's by choice....and even when it's not. But recently someone told me that I was single by choice and it made me realize it's less of a choice lately than just lack of the kind of choices I'm looking for.