The Grass is Always Greener...

Cover of ?uestlove

Well, hello there! I know, I know...it's been a while...too long. I've had a lot going on since the new year and I simply haven't had the time to dedicate to writing as much as I used to. Busy is good though, right?

I just got back from a short trip to FL...my first time back since I got relocated for work back in January 2009 and boy, was it needed. Winter in NY seems to have no end this year. It's been brutal...borderline depressing! A little dose of the sunshine state was definitely just what the doctor ordered. I never would've scheduled the trip, but my old boss (and someone who I consider to be one of my many mothers) was getting married and I simply couldn't miss the occasion!

I booked the flight and tried not to think too much about it until it got closer to the time to go. I've been so wrapped up in my NY life that I didn't have time to really think about what this trip to Florida would mean. But the day finally came and I was never so happy to get on a plane out of New York! I got off the plane and had a chance encounter with ?uestlove (pronounced Questlove) of The Roots while picking up my checked baggage. To this day, I have no idea how to properly pack so I brought way too much stuff for my little 5-day vacation. But the worrier in me would never allow me to pack lightly. As usual, I digress.....

I got off the place and was greeted by one of my very favorite people in FL...the world is actually a more accurate description! Already off to a good start, we decided it would be a good idea to squeeze in a little time in downtown Orlando. But since all the bars close at 2 and I came in late, it didn't offer much time. I found myself wishing we were in NY just so we could stay out a little longer. We made the best of it and had a lot of fun in a short time.

I woke up in the morning feeling like my sinuses had exploded. Though I've never suffered from allergies, Florida seemed to have fooled my sinuses into thinking that I do. I could barely breathe through my nose. I realized I never really felt like that in NY...perhaps because that would require the season of spring to actually arrive!

I won't get into too much of what I did while I was in Florida...I'll just say that I did my best to eat all the food I can only get in FL and see all the people that time would allow while I was there. By the end of my trip, there was a lot of food that I hadn't gotten to eat (probably for the best) and a lot of people that I didn't have the privilege of seeing. Overall, it just made me wanting more...more palm trees, more days on the beach, more time with people I consider true friends, and so on. It made me miss living in Florida.

Though on any given day in the 5 1/2 years I lived in FL, you could hear me babbling on and on about how much I wanted to move back to NY. I wasted a lot of time in FL wishing I was in NY. In the last 2 years that I've been back in NY, you wouldn't have caught me saying the same thing about FL. Perhaps it was an out-of-sight-out-of-mind thing, but I bet you'll hear me wishing FL back into my life now...especially if it snows even ONE MORE TIME! But alas, the moral of the story is that the grass...errr....the sand?....is always greener. Make the best of what you have, where you have it....everything else will work itself out.

New Year's Resolutions

Image by Getty Images via @daylife

Well, happy new year to you! I hope that 2011 has proven to be your best year yet! With only 25 days into the month...and year, perhaps it may be too soon to tell. For me personally, I'm finding it to be my favorite year, with 2010 falling closely behind in 2nd place. I'm a firm believer in everything having its time and season. With all the changes in my life taking place in the last year or two, I rarely sat back and questioned why things were changing so much, but simply embraced those changes and did my best to make the best of whatever came to be.

I come into this blog post with my brain all over the place...part of me wants to recount some of the events of NYE that led me into such a new perspective on the new year...another part of me wants to talk about new year's resolutions and how the decisions I made over the last year make figuring out new resolutions a bit harder than ever....and another part of me wants to talk about my upcoming plans. As I write this, I have 4 windows open on my computer, a book open on my lap, and my phone at arm's reach. If I felt like I needed to clone myself before, things have seriously reached a whole new level of multi-tasking...but I digress. Shocking, I know.

I guess I'm going to make my first blog post of January...and 2011...short and sweet. This is the first time I'm writing because I had to disconnect in order to connect. A lot less facebook, no blogging...just living. It's good for the soul. I highly recommend it as a new year's resolution if you're still trying to make one.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Image via Wikipedia

Ahhh, the night before Thanksgiving. I just left the city, which was buzzing more than usual thanks to the upcoming holiday. The subway was packed, but people seemed to be in a particularly good mood despite being packed in like sardines. There's something about the holidays the tends to bring out the best in people, but it's also a time that can be challenging for others.

I have a few friends this year who have chosen to play it low key for the holidays, opting out of the traditional routes and seeking solace in more quiet and private settings, keeping to themselves. Being a rather private person myself, I can respect and appreciate that. Sometimes the holidays do more to highlight the divisions in families more than bring them together. I think that many times we place so much emphasis on certain holidays' logistics that we forget the essence of the holiday itself. I've done my best this year to really take the time to focus on what holidays like Thanksgiving are all about....being thankful for all of the people and blessings in my life. And though we reserve just one day of the year to express this gratitude, let us be mindful to do this everyday. I'm thankful for each and every one of you! Happy Thanksgiving!

Forever Young

I've spent most of this week trying to catch up with as many old friends as possible. Since I moved to FL for about 5 1/2 years, it's been ages since I've seen most of the people that I knew growing up. I always mean it when I tell people that I want to get together, but life has its way of keeping you apart sometimes. This week I was on a mission to stay good on my word to catch up with some very dear friends...and I did just that.

One of my friends who I try to always visit is my old friend, Tim Lyons. Tim was one of my very good friends growing up. I used to walk to and from school with him and a few other neighborhood boys. Those are some of my fondest memories of Tim...mainly because I don't have the privilege of creating any new memories.

On March 17, 1995, Tim was walking down Middle Road in East Greenwich, where we grew up, and was struck by a drunk driver. The car hit him so hard that he was propelled into the woods and literally out of his shoes. The driver of the car claimed he thought he had hit an animal and went home to call his attorney...I don't know how many people that think they hit animals go home and seek legal counsel about it. I can remember the morning I found out about Tim vividly. He was the first friend of mine to die...the fact that he was killed made it that much more difficult to take in as a 14 year old.

The news was plastered with the story of my friend. And the months following were no easier. I spent a lot of time at Tim's house with his mother and uncle. I would also walk to the site of where Tim got hit...almost everyday. I grew up in a small town in the smallest state in the country so it didn't go unnoticed. Soon my mother received a few phone calls by people who were alarmed by my visits to him. My mother was annoyed by people's questioning of why I would do such a thing...I was mourning...the only way I knew how at such a young age. I would walk to the memorial site and his grave and sing songs to Tim. I actually had a whole set of songs that I would sing each time I visited..."Hold On" by Sarah McLachlan, "Last Goodbye" by Jeff Buckley, "Leaving on a Jet Plane" by Peter, Paul, & Mary, and "On My Own, from "Les Miserables." That year, I did the talent show at the junior high and performed "On My Own" and dedicated it to Tim...it was the first time I had performed like that in front of my classmates...and I owe the courage it took to do to Tim.

It's been 15 years since Tim's been gone. I went to his grave today to go visit with my friend. I was silent as I stood there. It wasn't that I had nothing to say or that I didn't want to talk to him, I was just trying to take it all in...all over again. All of my friends that I got to visit this week had stories of things going on in their lives...things we had missed out on with one another. I realized today that Tim will always be 15...and in many ways, that will be the version of Tim that I think of everytime I go to visit him. Though I get older and have the privilege of experiencing the joys and pains of life, my friend is forever young...something that sounds better in theory than it does in reality. I miss my friend a little more with each passing year. I realize it's another year we will not get to catch up, another year he will not get to create new memories, and despite another year, he's still 15.

We live in a time where botox and plastic surgery are fairly common place. Trying to maintain youth is an obsession within the media and in many of our personal lives. To be perfectly honest, I have my own hang ups about wrinkles and other signs of getting older. Today I realized I'm just grateful for the opportunity to live another day...and to live long enough to worry about such trivial things....we should all be so lucky. The next time you find a gray hair, just remember how many hours, days, years, laughter, tears, and memories it took for you to get there...and be thankful that you're not forever young.

3rd Wheel

Image via Wikipedia

This weekend I had the pleasure of catching up with one of my very best friends and her boyfriend. We headed out to the beach and spent the day lounging by the ocean. The weather was a bit overcast, but it was nice to have a break from the sun and there was a breeze that kept it from ever getting too hot. The water was frigid at first touch, but as soon as you took that dive headfirst into a wave, you felt refreshed and the water suddenly felt comfortable. It was a beautiful day.

My phone died about 20 minutes after we got there so I was disconnected from the world for the entire day...I think that made the day even better. It was just me, the sand between my toes, the sound of waves crashing, good music, and great company. It's one of the best days I've had all summer.

As we were making our way back to their house, I was sitting in the backseat listening to music and taking in all the sights...sights that I don't usually get the privilege of seeing because I'm usually the one driving. It suddenly dawned on me...it's really fun being their 3rd wheel. I laughed out loud as I told them my revelation...and then I had to correct myself...I realized it was way better than being a 3rd wheel, I felt more like a sidecar! Good times.

Getting the Final Word

Image by Josh Russell via Flickr

Have you ever had someone continue to call you that you weren't interested in speaking to? Of course you have, but has that person been calling you specifically to tell you that he/ she doesn't want to speak to you anymore? It happened to me last week and it's been on my mind ever since. It's not that it bothers me that the person didn't want to talk to me...it bothered me that they blew my phone up until I answered just so they could tell me they didn't want to talk to me anymore. Doesn't that kind of defeat the purpose? I'm pretty sure NOT calling me would have been a more effective means of getting the message across...but that's just me.

It also reminds me of when my friends on facebook triumphantly declare they will be doing some "spring cleaning" of their friends just before they delete a large number of people. As a rule, I don't delete friends...in life...or on facebook...unless there is a reason, which justifies such an action. After all, if you are my friend, facebook or otherwise, why would I want to hurt your feelings or make sure you knew I didn't want to be your friend anymore? If you don't want to be my friend, you can just do nothing...it'll be way more effective. Just sayin'.