Training for the Circus!

Ladies and gentlemen, children of all ages and KATIE HOXIIIIIEEEEEE!!! Growing up, I loved the circus, especially the beginning of the night when the spotlights would be circling all around the whole arena. I would excitedly scream my personal addition to the ringmaster's greeting, inserting my name in my loudest and most ringmaster-y voice, and clap in anxious anticipation of the sights and sounds of the all the animals, clowns, and awe-inspiring trapeze artists! Those times at the circus are some of my most fun and memorable childhood memories. Sometimes as I'm being introduced to get on the stage, I'm brought back to those days...only instead of my name being announced as only part of my wild imagination, now it's real, and they really are clapping for me...just like it had always played over in my head time and time again.

Walking around all of New York City and Weschester County the last few days as I pound the pavement to spread the word about my IndieGoGo campaign and my music, I had a few other childhood memories flash into my brain. As I was selling one of my CD's to a friendly cabbie by the name of Joe Johnson yesterday, my phone went off with email notifications that my childhood friend, Kristen Legge, had donated to my IndieGoGo campaign. I smiled as I read the notification and realized that she was taking time to invest in my dream on her birthday! I had called her earlier in the day to sing her happy birthday and thank her for all her support. Her thanks to me was an encouraging and thankful text message and a contribution to my latest project. 

I smiled again as I thought back on the day that Kristen had once served as my personal camera (wo)man taping my audition tape for Star Search when we were kids. Here we were so many years later and Kristen was still standing behind my dream, cheering me on, and playing an integral role in helping make my dream a reality. Kristen's been an amazing friend over the years despite the time and distance between us. She's more family than friend to be honest, a sister in the truest sense of the word, at least as far as my definition is concerned. 

Around probably the same time, while Kristen was helping me propel into stardom from a stool set up in my parents' dining room, I had also convinced some neighborhood kids that we should put our own circus together. As you can tell from what I've mentioned, I sure did love the circus! I had loosely put together the logistics and a business plan to put our circus act together. I remember walking around the neighborhood with my next door neighbor, Evann. We went door to door and and sold tickets to this amazing fantasy I had put together in my brain. How we were going to implement the the fantastical show I had put together was a thought for another day. 

I've always had BIG dreams. Every memory I have as a child, there was a stirring inside me. I grew up in East Greenwich, Rhode Island, one of the smallest towns in the smallest state in the country. I had always just kind of attributed my dreams of breaking out and making it big to growing up in a small town. But when I moved to  New York back when I graduated high school, it felt like I had met my match...finally a place that was as big as my dreams! After graduating from Iona College, I moved to Florida for what I thought would be a short-term temporary move. Though my time in Florida lasted longer than I anticipated, it was full of wonderful people and experiences, including an audition for American Idol that I never thought I wanted and a lesson from that experience that would serve me well long after the fact. But that's a story for another day, perhaps one day soon...but I digress.

As I walked around selling my CD's and promoting my music yesterday, I was grateful that I had all these great experiences from going to the circus to planning one...it all felt like training for every step I took yesterday and everyday that I relentlessly pursue my dream! Look out, the circus is definitely coming to a town near you soon! As I enter the final 31 hours of my campaign, "Grammy Bound With You," I feel a sense of gratitude for all the experiences and people that led me to be sitting here talking to you about my childhood dreams! Let it be a reminder of the magic of youthful wonder, the endless possibilities, the excitement instilled in our hearts from our dreams, and the importance of keeping your heart, ears, eyes, and mind open to all that life is waiting for you to unfold! 

If you're interested in making my childhood dream come true, please consider investing a few dollars to my project! www.indiegogo.com/grammybound

Grammy Bound With YOU!

14 days left to contribute to my campaign. As the days dwindle down, it's been harder and harder to keep my energy up. I've had several shows this month and it seems as though exhaustion has start to set in.
Whether you know it or not, I do this all alone. While I've had many people join me on this journey...and I'm eternally grateful for all your support and love...the day-in and day-out of my grind is solitary. I try to cram as much into 24 hours as humanly possible, take a nap, then do it all over again.
While I LOVE what I do, as an independent artist, I do it  all...well, independently. When you're at this level, you have no real money to pay people and it's hard to get a team behind you when you're not bringing them any real income...YET.
This part of the journey is hard...more than hard...it's exhausting and many times thankless. But in this part of the journey, it's what determines who's really in it to win it. And I'm in it for the long haul.
As I write to you today, I'm overdrawn on my bank account and used the money from my outdoor performance for Make Music New York to put a few more dollars of gas in my car so I can make it to my next show.
I just need you to know that although I maintain a positive spirit throughout all of this, I'm human. I cry almost everyday fighting through this struggle, persisting despite the odds, and knowing that my blessings are waiting for me on the other side of my tears, pain, and struggle. My faith allows me to believe that my efforts are not in vain. Though I don't know what tomorrow will bring, I work hard EVERYDAY to ensure I am hand-crafting my future.
The money you donate will not go towards putting gas in my car or putting a roof over my head. I do odd jobs, cell CD's, work Weight Watchers meetings, and do anything I can to bring in income to survive while relentlessly chasing my dream. The money you donate will go directly towards my dream...an INVESTMENT towards my future.
If you know me, you know I work hard. I give 110% to everything I do ESPECIALLY my music. I promise to give you a return on your investment...great music from the heart! Please help me make this happen. It means everything and I'll give everything it takes. Please consider becoming part of my living legacy by donating a few dollars to my dream and joining me on my journey all the way to the top.

Eleanor Roosevelt has been quoted as saying, "The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams." I believe in the beauty of my dream. If you believe in it, too, please support my mission, my music...my destiny. Thank you, as always, for all your love, support, prayers, encouragement, and faith. It's my survival.

Dare to be Different: Dare to be YOU!

For my whole life, I've been different. I realized it at a very young age. I always felt like I had an old soul...listening to The Beatles and wearing bell-bottom pants before they came back into style to my band concerts where I was the only girl drummer.
I never did things to be different on purpose...it was just who I was. Lord knows, things might have been easier if I could have blended in a little more, especially during junior high and high school when kids can be so cruel.
Because of some of the challenges that being so different created, I ultimately almost ended up dropping out of high school, but ended up transferring to another high school and attending a vocational program for graphic and advertising design. This transfer was intended to make my life easier, but because of the poor perception and stigma attached to the vocational program, I found myself living a double-life...pretending I wasn't a vo-tech student and hiding underneath desks if, God forbid, one of the "regular" high school kids came into our classroom.
I found more of the same throughout college, but started to be more accepted since I had moved to New York and could have a bit of a fresh start. I got involved with campus ministries, the folk choir and gospel choir at Iona College, where I got my BA in political science and pre-law. I had gotten that degree because my mom had always wanted me to be a lawyer and I had always wanted her happiness and approval.
After graduation, I seized an opportunity to move to FL with the woman that had helped raise me, a woman I consider to be a true guardian angel. It was supposed to be a 3-month break, but turned into years as life unfolded while I was there. I still pursued my music while down south, auditioning for American Idol, singing at local contests, and writing. I also found another opportunity for a fresh start and stopped correcting people when they asked if I went by anything other than Kathryn at job interviews, etc. Everyone had always called me Katie growing up and I never really felt like a Katie. This was my chance to be Kathryn, the young lady I always felt like.
I also took the LSATS and was working for a law firm as I was still trying to get my mother's approval and happiness even from so many miles away. I had asked the attorney I was working for at the time for a letter of recommendation. One day he pulled me into his office and told me to sit down. He started to talk to me about the letter he was going to write. He told me that he was more than happy to write the letter, that I'd be great at anything I chose to do with my life because I was intelligent and hard-working. But he also told me to think about it before I chose that path. He had seen me audition for American Idol, design a nursery for another lawyer in the office, and design a few things for people in his family. He told me that he thought I might be stifled in the legal profession since I was so creative. He was like a father-figure to me during my time in Florida and his opinion and words weighed heavy on my heart.
I was at a cross-roads. I was blessed to have the book smarts and determination to get through law school, but I was also blessed to have a creative mind that could create in both video and audio settings.
I took some time and ultimately decided to go for my MBA instead since it was a broader degree. I've always been terrible with numbers/ math and I decided if I could get through an MBA, I could do ANYTHING! I had also convinced myself that if I came back to New York, the MBA would help me further my music career.
I'm leaving out a tremendous amount of details for the sake of time here, but the moral of the story is that ultimately, I picked the hard way...and although this journey has been incredibly challenging at times, it has been authentically ME!
As I stand before you today in relentless pursuit of my dream, I can proudly tell you that I'm different. My fashion sense is different. My my musical style is different. My journey is very different. But in being so different, I feel more like myself than I ever have in my whole life. While I always thought it was some kind of curse to be different, I now understand the amazing blessing of being myself in a real way. I continue to be inspired by the people who are inspired by my journey and the fact that I'm ME with no apologies.
I thank God to have finally gotten to this point and I'm eternally grateful to have you with me on this journey!

And if may I take this opportunity just to say that being different may not always be the easy way, but in the end, there is no other way to find out who YOU are! Here's to being different!
My DREAM is a huge part of who I am...find out how you can support my dream by checking it out here:
http://www.indiegogo.com/grammybound

High Fashion: Wearing Your Heart on Your Sleeve

Back in my little hometown of East Greenwich, RI, I sit here thinking. It's usually on these occasions when I'm home that I have a little more free time than I do while I'm back in New York in my usual grind mode trying to squeeze more hours into the day than what actually exist. I've been working overtime lately to get my music heard in as many places as possible. I've been joined recently by new supporters and fans, and sponsors looking to get on board with the movement I've begun to create with my music. I consider myself abundantly blessed. Everyday I wake up and I move towards the direction of my dreams. There is not a day that goes by that I'm not proactively working towards making my dreams come into fruition. I'm relentless in my pursuit with no signs of slowing down.
I performed at New Rochelle Jazz Festival a couple weeks ago. A friend and one of my biggest fans, Jo Porty, had stopped by the show and told me to come by Post Road Ale House where she had booked another singer/ song writer, Jason Gisser. At the Jazz Fest, I had a great time performing some original tunes to my backing tracks then took the stage with The Brian Carter Trio to perform "Fever," one of my all time favorites to sing. When the show ended, I found myself sitting at the bar at Post Road Ale House sipping on club soda, trying to find the energy to stick around for a bit to enjoy the great sounds of Jason. Despite the fact I really enjoyed his music, I was bordering on exhaustion. I've been averaging about 4-5 hours of sleep and it was starting to catch up with me.
Jo introduced my to a lively girl at the bar, Joy K, whose energy and enthusiasm were initially overwhelming in my dreary state. She's also a singer/ song writer, as well as a cancer survivor and mother. I went up and sang "Back With You" with Jason who was so gracious to let me take a few minutes of his gig to perform my music. After I sang, I sat back down and chatted more with Joy, who was still full of all the energy I was trying to find within myself that night. She told me about her battle with cancer and her background in music.
Eventually and inevitably, our conversation transitioned into matters of faith. Joy is Wiccan and started to share with me some of what that means. She also began to share with me some words of inspiration about my musical journey. She advised me that I'm going to make it and to not give up...something I really needed to hear on that particularly exhausting day. She also shared with me the importance of being transparent about my journey...more specifically, to wear my heart of my sleeve. I listened as tears ran down my face.
As most of you already know, I'm a positive person. Despite any challenges, I focus on the good and find the blessings in every situation. After living out of my car for four months, that was a large part of how I survived and overcame that situation. I believe that being happy and positive is a choice that we make everyday.
So I find myself once again in Rhode Island, sitting in a Starbucks that I only knew as a bank growing up here in East Greenwich. I sit in this bank-turned-coffee-shop and realize all the changes that have taken place since I once lived here over 10 years ago. Last night I got into one of the only arguments I've ever gotten into with my brother. Our argument was about my dream and about my objectives in living out my dream.
But to get into why this argument happened in the first place, I find it necessary to give you further background. I recently got a phone call from my father telling me that my parents were being forced to sell their home, the home my parents have lived in my entire life. My father stayed on the phone with me and proceeded to tell me, "I'm f@*ked. I've worked 70 hours a week, holidays, weekends, and overtime and now I have nothing to show for it. I can't even afford buy another house after we sell it." To clarify, my mother is a manic depressive who has created many financial obstacles due to her mental illness. In all fairness, I've done my fair share of contributing to the financial issues of my family, needing help with student loan payments and car insurance since I'm not working a traditional job with a steady income. I sat there on the phone with my father and pleaded with him to stay positive and believe in my dream, believe in all the hard work I'm putting into this, and believe that I'm going to be able to repay my family for all they've helped me with throughout the years.
Going back to the argument that I had with my brother last night, I was telling him about everything I have going on in New York and how I can feel the momentum building. I told him that I just prayed that I would have a breakthrough soon so I could help my parents. This is where the breaking point came. He told me that as an artist, I should EXPECT to be broke for the rest of my life and to not live to help my parents, or anyone else for that matter. I was livid and standing there defending something I have given everything inside me to make happen.I stood there with tears streaming down my face...not because I was sad or had given up hope in my dream, but because I realized how misunderstood I am by the people who I'm closest to.
Most of my immediate family can not even fathom the dream I have in my heart. I realized there are strangers that have known me for 5 minutes that have more faith in my dream than my own family. It's a hard pill to swallow. This journey is already a relatively lonely one...and that's before the realization that your family isn't really on board.
I sit here in my hometown, one of the smallest towns in the smallest state in the country, and realize that my responsibility is great, my dream is giant, and my work ethic is the only thing that's bigger than even both of these. I know this and believe this...even if no one else does. And while yes, my dream is for me, first and foremost, it is also for my family and for everyone who has been with me on this journey. I have inspired others in this pursuit and countless others have inspired and motivated me. This has become so much bigger than just me. This is for you...so that you know you can do anything you set your mind and heart to with enough hard work and dedication.
If you've seen pictures of me performing, you know I'm usually wearing a dress or a skirt and a pair of stilettos. Today, I also add to my style a new fashion statement...my heart on my sleeve.

iDream

"Have you ever had a dream that was meant to be...then finally found your voice, which spoke your destiny? Well, I've dreamed and I woke. In this new voice I spoke. And once I finally heard my voice, it was time to make some noise!" These are the lyrics to the 3rd song, "Screaming to be Free" on my EP, "Light Shines Through Me," which, as of TODAY, can be purchased on iTunes!

"Screaming to be Free" was produced by GI Joe and has a music video directed by Rodolfo Duran of DoneRightDigital.com, which is just waiting in the wings to be released! Once KFHox (facebook.com/kfhox) reaches the 1,000 fan mark, the video will be briefly released online and then available for purchase on iTunes!

This has been a crazy, exhausting, at time confusing, and long journey, and it's only just begun! I thank God to have finally found my voice and to have transitioned from iDream to iTunes!!!

No Woman, No Cry

Cover of Etta James

In the span of a year, we've lost so many legends. For me, I feel like I keep losing parts of myself as I lost Amy Winehouse, George Harrison, and, today, the incomparable Etta James. But with these losses, I can't help but feel a growing responsibility to fill the voids these artists have left and create my own musical legacy.

My musical influences run a wide spectrum, ranging from classic rock and roll, motown, neo-soul, reggae, jazz, blues, gospel, new age, R&B, hip-hop, and basically everything in between. I've done my best to keep my ears and heart open to every musical genre. The beauty of music is that it's the only thing in our world that's truly universal. For about 3 minutes, it doesn't matter who you are, where you came from, what you've been through...we're all on the same page. It's the most magical moment of realization if you've ever been to a concert and look around at all the different kinds of people that all know the same words.

If you know me, you'll know that I do my best to put as much positive energy into the world as I can. I want to do the most amount of good with my time on earth as possible and I KNOW that music is my vehicle to do just that.

My last blog post was more somber than my usual posts, but when I woke up today and heard the news of Etta James passing, I was reminded of something that I had temporarily forgotten. I'm ALIVE! Seems simple, right? But honestly, just the fact that I'm alive to face another day means I've been given another opportunity to make this happen. Today, I began applying for a grant through BRIO to help create some new music. I'm looking under every rock until I find the resources to make this happen. I've also been applying for part-time positions to help sustain my livelihood while I do this. I had gotten really stuck on the notion that taking a part-time job doing anything, but singing, would de-rail my dream. I realize now the necessity of it in order to fulfill my dream. I've learned to let go of the resentment I feel towards surviving and replaced it with gratitude for the alternative skill sets that I have that will allow me to support myself and move forward full-force with my dream.

I recently recorded vocals to a track produced by Doue Carter entitled, "I Cry." I love the song, which I wrote in about 3 minutes after Doue sent me the track. It's one of those songs that just wrote itself. You can hear the undertones of Etta James' "I'd Rather Go Blind" on the track. In fact, I had to get that song out of my head in order to work out the melody line for the song. As I reflect on the life, legacy, and music of this beautiful woman, I thank God for the opportunity to work on my own new music.

Songs like "No Woman, No Cry" by Bob Marley have made me feel so much better on days like I've had lately. And though the title of my song would lead you to believe that it's a sad song, at its core, it's actually about tears of joy. It's about celebrating the fact that, as women, sometimes we cry because we're just so overjoyed by the love in our hearts. To give you an idea of what I mean, here's a taste of some of the lyrics, "I cry 'cause I love you, but you don't get it. You think I'm just being a girl. And I cry 'cause I'm happy. Just forget it. You're the biggest thing in my itty bitty world." So women, go ahead and cry! But once you're done crying, don't forget to smile and be grateful that we've been given another day to make it happen!

RIP Ms. Etta James

Meet Me at the Crossroads

I've been writing less and less in the last year as you may have noticed. Putting a band together, planning an EP release party, booking and promoting shows...all while living out of my car...have proven to be challenging and time consuming tasks. And while I'm honored, proud, and blessed that I was able to survive all of it and pull it off successfully, I find myself at a crossroads.

Yesterday was the hardest day I've had in a long time. I started my morning off by going to the Sunshine Bronx Incubator in the south Bronx, which offers affordable shared office space for start-ups. In the last year, I registered KFHox as a small business in the Bronx. My vision was for KFHox to become an umbrella company covering an array of services including writing, publishing, and consulting. My success within the realm of social media in the last two years has shown me what I'm capable of. I've also really enjoyed the networking aspect of things and putting like-minded people that need one another together. It seemed like a natural transition for me to move into some kind of consulting and managing since I need to make money to keep a roof over my head. The winter's gotten much too cold to continue life in my Jeep.

I gave my elevator pitch of KFHox to Sunshine and left feeling pretty confident that this was what I needed to do to in order to take the next steps. Life post-11.11.11 has consisted of many steps in various directions searching for the next step. Once I got out of my meeting, I returned a call I had gotten from one of my former piano players, Neffee. She invited me to come over for a bit and said that we needed to talk. Instantly, I was sick to my stomach. I had no idea what she wanted to talk about and I was already feeling a bit overwhelmed by the meeting I had just walked out of, but I went because I wanted to chat and I was anxious to find out what was so important.

When I got there, she was playing my EP, "Light Shines Through Me." And while one part of me was happy that she was listening to my music, another part of me knew there was another reason that she was listening to it. She made small talk for a bit and we caught up on a few things since we had last seen each other. And then she started to talk about what we needed to talk about. She told me that she loved me as a friend and that I had a ton of natural talent. But for as talented as I am, I'm not serious about my training and maintenance of my voice. I sat in silence as she broke down the last year of my life....all the promoting and branding and social networking. She said, "You're DOING IT. You're really doing it, Kathryn." But all of this came at the cost of leaving me little to no time to actually be an artist. And while this is something I've discussed with several people over the course of the last year, it sounded different coming from someone else, especially Neffee. It's true. Without a manager or any team to speak of, I'm left to do it all alone. We talked about exercises that I need to incorporate into my daily routine and other things I can do to get my voice where it needs to be, and as our conversation was coming to an end, my phone rang.

On the other end of the phone was Kathy, the woman who helped raise me during most of my childhood. Kathy's basically like my second mother. She's saved my life in every way that a person can be saved...physically, emotionally, mentally, and beyond. She had called to talk to me about "the next step." After just having finished getting some tough love from Neffee, I was now on the phone with Kathy who was continuing on the same path. She knew that I had gone to that meeting in the morning and was calling to tell me, "Your time is NOW." She discouraged me from starting the business venture and told me I needed to find a manager. Everything she said supported what Neffee told me, which was that I needed to focus on my music, on my instrument, and on getting my music made. Management is the only way that can happen.

Both of these conversations came just weeks after continuous conversations with the guy that I've started dating. Once a producer of music, himself, he's been encouraging me to make more music, to focus more on creating. But the challenge of this is finding the right person (people) to create with. I've realized in the last year that I'm not normal or typical. While others focus on how they're going to pay their rent and go on vacations, I'm focused on how I can get people to listen to my music, how I can make more music, and how I can find others that want to make music with me. Music is more than a hobby to me...it's like breathing. Without it, I surely won't survive. I've realized that despite the fact that I hold two Masters degrees and plenty of professional experience, I will never live a fulfilling life without music in it on a full-time basis.

Today, I'm at a crossroads. I need to make money so that I can sustain my livelihood, but I refuse to do anything, but music. Something's gotta give.

Birthdays, Bathrooms & Brows...

So here I sit in the lovely Disney’s Beach Club Villas Resort…no, I’m not a guest…just passing through, as it would be, to meet an old friend from acting, Jenn, who’s now a cast member at Disney. It’s a beautiful night…maybe in the high 60’s or 70’s and the only commotion is the pitter patter of little feet walking by and excited voices of children as they embark on their next Disney adventure.

I smiled as I drove in earlier, coming under the gates that read: “Welcome to Disney World: Where Dreams Come True.” It felt like a gentle nudge, as I drove underneath, to continue on my path. It’s amazing the signs of wonder that you get to be witness to if only your ears, eyes, and heart are open to receiving them.

I parked my car and got my bags together to go on a little adventure before I met Jen out for dinner. I walked out to the boardwalk and recognized it as I thought I might. Back during my time living in Florida, I had sang at a friend’s wedding over here. I sang “When I Fall in Love” as Amanda walked down the aisle at the happiest place on earth. That was the second wedding I ever sang, second only to my own sister’s wedding, and I didn’t realize the next time I came back here that I would be on the path of pursuing my dreams on a full-time basis. But I’m so thankful to be back here filled to the brim with dreams in my heart.

                                                                           

When I first made my way to the boardwalk, I made a pit stop in the restroom. In the stall next to me, a mother and a young daughter were going back and forth about something or another. I didn’t catch exactly what they were talking about until I heard the mother say something about the fact that she was really irritated with Disney. I listened closer to hear more about what her complaints were. She said that her daughter had never heard the word “hate” until she watched the movie, “Finding Nemo.” She went on and on about how she would have to watch every Disney movie three times forwards and backwards to ensure that didn’t happen again. I couldn’t help but sigh and realize the truth of the matter. That’s not realistic…no matter how you look at it. The mother can’t spend her whole life censoring every Disney movie to ensure they say everything right all the time. She’ll miss most of her daughter’s childhood obsessing over one word here or another there. And even if she spent the time to do that, her daughter would eventually leave the house at some point and here all the words she wants to shield her from…and then what?

While Disney presents a utopian-like atmosphere with all the things your heart and mind can imagine, once you go back under that Disney gate and enter Orlando, there’s no escaping the reality of our world. And though no one ever ensured that I didn’t hear the word “hate” growing up, I thank God that I was able to discern the fact that hate was a bad word. I’m fairly sure that woman’s daughter will be able to distinguish the same without missing out on any Disney movies.

It reminds me of a conversation that I had earlier today. I was actually just going to blog about that conversation originally, but after a short time here, I realized I had more to talk about than I had initially thought. I went to go get my eyebrows waxed by a woman who used to do them when I lived here. She’s currently working out of a different salon and is now self-employed. She’s unhappy as a business woman as she considers herself, rightfully so (especially if you saw what she did with my eyebrows…shameless plug: Helena Morton: Primp Salon, 1411 Trovillion Ave., Winter Park, FL), an artist. We discussed the pros and cons, mainly cons in her case, of being a business owner and all the responsibilities that one takes on when you go from being an employee to an employer. For me, I’m too much of a free spirit to have a boss anymore. I used to think I just had a problem with authority, but I realized it was much deeper than that, and far less angry. I’m simply too creative and have too many ideas to be constrained to the confines set forth by a manager or anyone who may have some kind of control over my work obligations. I have a relentless work ethic and I find it exhausting to try and place a value on that work ethic. Accordingly, it makes more sense to me to work for myself and, for the most part, by myself. I’ve seen the latest fruits of that labor at my EP Release Party, which was responsible for hosting about fifteen local artists and ten sponsors, all of whom I single-handedly coordinated.

Helena, on the other hand, has no problem being an employee. She wants to do what she does and not have to deal with all the extra obligations that come along with running the business (i.e. ordering supplies and keeping track of the numbers). While I am a free spirit and I like doing things myself, I can totally relate to this aspect of the dilemma, as well. While I was proud of all the work that I put into getting everything organized and prepared for 11.11.11, it left me little to no time to be an actual artist….no time for writing new material, barely any time to rehearse, and definitely no social time to relax and be inspired by life, which is where so much of my inspiration comes from. Yes, I can certainly empathize with Helena and I understand fully that it would just be easier to be an artist. Fortunately, Helena’s moving in that very direction now and should be back to doing strictly what she loves, alongside her adorable and loveable puppy, Lucky. As for me, I’m still doing it all. I’ve officially set the wheels in motion to complete a full-length album by my birthday this June.

What does any of that have to do with where we began? Well, we all have our own dreams and aspirations. For that mother, her dream is to provide her daughter with a life as perfect as she can create despite the world’s reality. For me, my dream is to become a global recording artist so that all the world may hear what it would be my honor and blessing to share. And for Helena, her dream is to help others feel and look even more beautiful by doing what she loves. 

Today, December 5^th, would have been Walt Disney’s birthday. I no longer believe in coincidences. I thank God to be fortunate enough to have made a stop at the happiest place on earth where dreams come true on the very day that the man who believed in dreams so much was born. I’ll leave you with this quote in honor and memory of this special man. “All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.” – Walt Disney 

Home...errrr....Starbucks is Where the Heart Is

Another day, another Starbucks! If you know me at all, you'll know I've become accustomed to turning any given Starbucks into my very own home office of sorts. Today, I've set up shop at an Ormond Beach Starbucks in Florida. I used to frequent this particular location when I lived in the area. but I digress...as usual.

I'm here in Florida for a number of reasons. The first of which was to celebrate Thanksgiving with my extended family in Flagler Beach. Many of you met Kathy, my second mother, when you came to the EP Release Party. Thanks again to EVERYONE who came out and/ or signed in online to BXRecords.com to watch! It was such an inspiring and gratifying night to see everyone join together to celebrate local artists, local businesses, and MUSIC! It was truly the best day of my life...so far!

So now what?! Well, some of you who know me or who have been following my story know that I've been living out of my car for a little over 2 months now...hence, the reason Starbucks has become such a God send in serving as a home office! Now that I've released the EP, I'm working on getting all the legal paperwork completed to release the songs on iTunes and release the music video for "Screaming to be Free," produced by GI Joe. I need to start making money on my music soon since I can't live out of my car forever! ;)

Today, I challenged my Facebook friends to help me get 1,000 "likes" for KFHox (facebook.com/kfhox). Once I reach the thousand fan mark, I'll release the video for "Screaming to be Free" directed by Rodolfo Duran of DoneRightDigital.com online. I'm also working on some other new music that's been in the works for quite some time now. Living out of my car has made it challenging to work as quickly as I'd like to, but I'm grateful for all the support and love I've received throughout this journey!

While in Florida, I'll be visiting my old stomping grounds, Full Sail University, where I used to work as a regional admissions representative. I'm going to put the wheels in motion to get an intern to work for KFHox, which is a small business I started this year. I need to get some help with promoting my music on all the social networks I'm on and it's become increasingly challenging to wear all hats: manager, booker, promoter, writer, AND artist. I need to start sleeping more than 4-5 hours a night at some point so this may be the relief I need until I find appropriate management. It's hard to get any sleep when you're living your dream.

Why don't I already have a manager? It's not for lack of being in demand, but more for lack of finding the right "glass slipper", so to speak. I've worked tirelessly to make the progress I've made thus far and I've been approached by some good people with good intentions. However, God knows how much work I've truly put into this and to pass the torch to anyone asking would be doing an injustice to myself and everything I've sacrificed to get this far. I have faith that my "prince charming" manager is out there, but just like Cinderella, I must wait patiently for the day when my foot comfortably slides into that slipper.

Until then, I'm working hard to get my music heard by as many people as possible. I'll have more copies of the EP available when I return to New York in December for my 2 shows: Dec. 15th at Bruckner Bar & Grill, BX: Bruckner Sessions Vol. IV & Dec. 16th at Post Road Ale House, New Rochelle with John James Piteo & friends!

I'm also planning on getting some music recorded here in Florida with "Cioni Brasco," an artist you'll be hearing more about very soon! On my travels back up north, I'll be making a stop in South Carolina to work on a remix to a song by Sunni G called, "Her or The Music" and get some face time with Kelly of KellyKel Promotions, who's been working hard to promote my music regionally.

Thank you, as always, for ALL your continuous love and support. Whether you realize it or not, YOU are my survival. There are days when I feel like I might fall apart, but my faith in God and knowing that you are behind me gives me the strength, energy, and momentum I need to keep going! I hope that I can be that for you, as well! You have my word that I won't stop until I get all the way to the top! THANK YOU!!!

Cuz I Gotta Have Faith

Image via Wikipedia

Well, well, well...it's been much too long, but I'm back! It's been a blessing to be as busy as I've been, but I need to make more time to dedicate to my writing...since it's my connection with YOU...besides my music. I attended a mixer for Bronx Small Business & Entrepreneurs last night and the discussion of bloggers reminded me that I couldn't remember the last time I blogged! Shame on me! Not that I haven't been writing...I've just been writing lyrics for the last couple months. The fruits of that labor are sure to unfold very soon and I can't wait to share them with you, too!

If you know even a smidge about me, you'll know that the reason I haven't had time to write lately is because I've been working tirelessly on my project, the first EP I've ever recorded. As time goes on, the EP continues to take on new a life...birthed by additional musicians joining me on the first track, "Back With You," and as a result of me stepping further into the role of producer with the 3 tracks that I'm working on.

In addition to the music that I'm currently working on, I've decided I need to do more. I have so much to share and it's virtually impossible to share everything I want to within 3-5 songs. Accordingly, I've started a new project through Kickstarter, whose aim is to secure the funding for a full-length album as well as the music video for "Back With You."

Aside from all of this, I'm in a very transitional place. Having sold all of my furniture and subletting an apartment, I'm surrounding myself with only the basics (and shoes, lot of shoes!). I have until August 15th to figure out the next step. By the grace of God, my rent is paid up until then and I'm just trying to figure out the next step.

Throughout all of this, I've not spent more than a moment worrying about what the next step is...well, maybe a moment or two. On Wednesday, June 22, 2011, I stopped by to speak to Pastor Mcdonald, someone who has undeniably been placed in my life at this moment for a very real reason. He had requested that I stop by, but hadn't given me a particular reason or anything to reflect upon before I got there. However, when I stopped by that day, my heart was heavy.

I went to meet him with these things in my heart and he began to speak. Before I had an opportunity to really share what was in my heart, God had found a way for him to speak the words I needed to hear. Not only did he reassure me that everything would work itself out (which it did and continues to do), but he proclaimed that I would be a household name and that I would serve a role to the children and women I'm so moved to inspire. Pastor Mcdonald likened me to Esther, a Jewish orphan who later became queen of Persia and the heroine of Purim. He told me to mark this day as he prophesied what my future would hold...and that's what this blog will serve to do.

A chance encounter with a homeless woman named Mary Beth the day before weighed so heavily on my heart prior to walking in to speak with him. I realized I could only give her love and compassion if she let me. But she would only allow me to do that for a limited amount of time. I encouraged her to love herself as much as I did and as much as God did. I could see in her eyes, she wanted to feel that way. She had lost her daughter and her boyfriend and she was truly lost. But somehow, a glimmer in her eye showed me that she's on the path to finding herself once again. Though she may not be ready yet, she is on her way. I gave her my business card and I pray that, when the time is right, she'll reach back out to me. She'll stay in my thoughts and prayers until that day. I know that I can be a voice and give a voice to the poor and oppressed. I cried as we hugged one another and May Beth asked why I was crying. I explained that I cried because I understand. I truly know the pain that she feels....aside from compassion, I have empathy. But even if you don't know what it's like to be in someone's shoes...try. You'll never know the difference you can make in someone's life just by taking the time to try to understand.

We've recently added "Faith" by George Michael to our latest set and it couldn't come at a more appropriate time. I've reached a place in my life that every step I take is focused on my faith. And with that faith, I have overcome getting my apartment broken into, my phone stolen, my finances falling short, and all the other bumps in the road that, at one point in my life, would've devastated me and knocked me down completely. Today, I stand by faith. Everyday I am reaffirmed in the fact that I have nothing to fear as long as I am faithful. I pray that you can find the same solace and serenity in your heart and mind....with faith.

If You Never Ask, the Answer's Always No

Image by Moisturizing Tranquilizers via Flickr

5:41 a.m. That's what time my phone rang yesterday. But I was already up. Excitement wouldn't let me sleep the night before. I guess Brey, my producer, must've felt the same...since he was the one on the other end of the phone yelling. "You up, HoxieCotton?!" "We're not going to Cali...leaving Kennedy onto LAX....but I'm up." That was the beginning of my very busy, very AMAZING day yesterday.

Just checking in with everyone to say hello and share some of the excitement that's been going on lately. I barely know where to begin. I guess the best way to explain why things have been so busy lately is to SHOW you. Head over to kickstarter.com/projects/kfhox to get all the latest updates from my very first EP!

My first order of business yesterday started in the studio with Brey King (Sound Check Live) and T-ron Lewis (Invaderz). We're finishing up the vocals and final revisions on the first track of my first EP, "Back with You." It has been an absolute labor of love and I'm so excited to be able to share it very, very soon! Track 2 has already started and is almost completely written. Looking forward to sharing what I've been working on!

Once we finished up in the city, Brey and I headed into the city for a meeting with an amazing producer. Since the details are still being worked out, I'll save that story for the future. Just be ready for greatness! I am so incredibly overwhelmed and humbled by all of the people that have opened up their hearts to me!

Our meeting ran late and I had to be in New Rochelle by 5 p.m....with cheesecake...that I was supposed to have made! Yikes! After an hour in rush hour traffic, I was already 45 minutes late for a musical/ spiritual dinner and discussion with Vlada (vladamusic.com). So a stop to Mobil-on-the-Run would have to suffice...Entemann's anyone? Although my visit was brief, it was just what I needed to rejuvenate and refresh before heading off to the next part of my night. I hadn't even eaten yet so this was my reminder to slow down! The ever amazing, talented, blessed, and highly favored Vlada gathered everyone to pray for me before I got back on the road. The power of prayer has been something that has nourished and sustained me through this busy and tumultuous journey!

The final part of my night was spent with some of the most talented and amazing people I've had the privilege of meeting at Hip Hop Saves Lives 1 Year Anniversary (hiphopsaveslives.org), run by CEO Chad Harper and co-hosted by Brey King. The night showcased great musicians, singers, and poets. It was a beautiful night with great people for a great cause!

I was excited to discuss my project with the other artists, promoters, and others that were in attendance. It's so incredible to be a part of everything that's going on! This has been such a beautiful journey and I'm so glad that I finally took the time to ask for help to make this dream a reality! I am living proof that if you want help, all you need to do is ASK for it! If you never ask, the answer's always no. What will you ask of others today? Challenge yourself and others to do something you didn't think was possible...you'll be pleasantly surprised at the responses you get...and you just might realize that the impossible is possible!

1st Date Makeup

Image by Ninja M. via Flickr

So if you know me, you know that I may or may not be mildly obsessed with my Blackberry. But in my own defense, I depend on my phone entirely to do what I do. Accordingly, my phone is usually in my hand...or at least within arm's reach. Aside from getting my casting notices and calls via email, I use my phone for a whole gaggle of other purposes. One of these purposes is to give myself reminders for things I want to blog about. Every once in a while, I'll go to my random list of blog topics in my phone and laugh to myself. Tonight was one of those such nights.

If you've been following me for a while, you may have seen the video I had to do for a commercial submission. If not, I've recently re-posted it for your viewing pleasure. It's a bit of silliness I did with my friend, and fellow actor, Jenn Jacober. While getting reading for a music video, Jenn joined me for some antics and helped me come up with some ideas. Somehow, perhaps because of the fact I was putting on makeup at the time, the notion of first date makeup came up in our conversation. Sorry to the dudes who read this...you may not fully understand.

Do you ever think about the level of care you put into getting ready depending on the situation? For instance, would your preparation time/ intensity be the same if you were getting ready for a first date versus getting ready for a family function? I'm just saying...certain situations just call for that extra sweep of blush and another layer of mascara....ooooh and lip gloss. Don't forget the lip gloss.

I hope you weren't expecting to read something inspirational or uplifting tonight...since all I have to offer right now is a silly blog about 1st date makeup....but I do hope that you have something to put some 1st date kinda makeup on for soon! Until then, I'll go back to my list of blog ideas and write about something more meaningful.