Validation vs. Violation

Image by quinn.anya via Flickr

We've all been there at some point...minding our own business, walking down the street...getting out of our car...wherever it was, some guy(s) thought it would be the right move to whistle, shout out some lude remark, or make some other kind of less than classy gesture. And while, as a lady, it's always a little boost to the old self-esteem to know you've got "it," there's still a fine line.

We live in a time that has a whole new level of openess...over-sexed is a common word to describe our present culture. It seems as though the masses have followed suit with our media-driven popularity of showing too much...and saying too much. There must be something in the water in the last couple weeks...because lately everywhere I go, there is a guy just ready to offer his unsolicited opinion of me. As previously stated, a compliment from a dude can lift your spirits every once in a while...providing some kind of validation that we looking good. But certain types of compliments...and certain types of guys....can have an effect that is much less desireable...the kind that makes you want to take a shower after the interaction. Eww.

Luckily, during this recent bararge of hoots and hollers, I held a door open for a woman. She was an older woman who walked with a walker. I thought she was thanking me as I held the door, but as I realized what she was saying, I started to giggle. She was explaining that she was not rude or fresh, but that I looked great spandex. "Some people don't belong in spandex...but you, you belong in spandex, girl." I think the best compliments you can get come from other women...especially because it can be a pride swallowing experience to tell another woman that she looks good. I honestly think that women check out women MORE than men do...how ya figure? Well, I can't speak for all women, but I can pretty safely say that most women compare themselves to others...I wish my hair was as long as hers or I think I have nicer legs than her. It's just an innate reaction...so when a woman actually speaks up to tell you that you're looking good, it far outweighs almost any compliment from a guy...and it sure beats getting verbally assaulted.