Instant gratification...instant altercation: Gotta love technology.

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Do you remember your life before you owned a cell phone? I have vague memories of memorizing people's phone numbers, but those days are long gone. I don't know anyone's phone number or email address. Technology has helped me save so much room in my brain...though mainly only to use the spare brain cells to learn how to use the technology that saves the room in my brain.

There are those of us that feel like we forgot something important if we leave our house unarmed with our cell phone....something important...ya know, like underwear, but even more important. We forget how to function. Pretty scary thought to think that we no longer know how to exist without our cell phone. But something that strikes me even more isn't what happens when we're the ones who forget our phone...it's the reactions of others on the other end of the line.

Today I left my phone in my car...something that's not uncommon when I go the gym. I consider myself a pretty connected person, but even I have my moments where I need to get off the grid for a bit. From time to time, if I know I have to be available, I'll work out with my phone...begrudingly. Today happened to be one of those days that I needed to escape and just let myself give into the trance of the stairmaster...in hopes it would help me get out of this funk I've been in lately. Fail.

I got back into my car after some serious cardio and a good ab workout...and pulled my phone out to see what I missed. 4 emails and 2 phone calls...the 2 missed calls were from the same person. I called right back and got no answer. I shrugged and went on with the rest of my day...kinda. I called the person back about 20 minutes later...still no answer. I have to admit I was a little frustrated.

Never thinking the person who called me would be aggravated, I found myself getting more and more frustrated for not being able to get through. Remember the days of cassette answering machines...when you never knew if someone was going to answer...and they didn't know it was you calling because caller i.d. was still kind of Jetson status? Gone are those days. Now we live in a time where being unavailable is being rude...or makes you seem suspect. Everyone wants everything right NOW.

After a couple hours, the person called me back...questioning why I wasn't available. I quickly apologized, but was tempted to question why THEY didn't answer. But what's the point...I didn't feel like getting into an argument...aside from the fact that I had a good reason for not having my phone on...so maybe they did, too. All I know is after we hung up, I missed those days of simpler times...rotary phones, beepers, and dial-up internet. Those were the days.

The Ice Cube Theory

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Ahh, love...ain't it grand? Sometimes. I've got a ton on my mind today. Most of the thoughts swirling around in my head are about the guy I'm dating and the fight we got into last night. Fighting, although an almost inevitable part of any relationship, always affects me more than probably most normal people. I'm aware that I'm more emotional than most and just more prone to being affected by the figurative punches thrown during arguments (even if I'm the one throwing them).

At the end of a fight, it usually ends up being more about who "won" than even remembering what the fight even stemmed from. That being said, was it even worth having a fight if you don't remember what you're fighting about? Why are we more prone to fight with the ones we love than anyone else...seems like backwards logic. Although if broken down, we do generally spend more time with our loved ones than anyone else so I guess it's just a numbers game. Regardless of the reason we fight, I'm always reminded of the ice cube theory...a theory introduced to me by a woman who has saved my life on a million levels (but that's a story for another time).

Though it's not a theory I constructed myself, I do try to pass along the message of this theory whenever possible. I'm a visual person so the idea of picturing an ice cube just stuck with me...and hopefully it will stick with you, too. So as we're picturing this ice cube, imagine that the ice cube represents your relationship. It doesn't matter what kind of relationship it is...friend, boy/ girlfriend, husband, wife, siblings...whoever...it works for any relationship. But whatever relationship you're thinking of...it is now in the form of an ice cube, perfectly formed and even on all sides. It is the emodiment of a perfect ice cube...untarnished by ice scoops, being tossed into a glass, or dropped on the floor...perfect. That perfection is how you start every relationship...without any marks or imperfections.

The goal in every relationship is to maintain the form that you started with. For every unkind word or action, you slowly chip away at the ice cube. You can never un-say or un-do those words or actions once they happen. And once you chip away at the ice cube, you can never put it back. And so the ice cube, your relationship, is left with these marks, sometimes so many that there's barely anything left. And when you think of chipping away at your relationship that much, it's easy to realize how trust is lost, faith dwindles, and there's really no foundation left to sustain a relationship.

So just remember the next time you're about to say/ do something hurtful to someone you love....remember this first...you love them. Seems simple, right? But we all know, in our haste and feelings of anger, our tongues are swifter than our usual, level-headed minds. Try to catch yourself before you say or do something you can't take back...and forever alter your ice cube.