Monday, January 30, 2012

iDream

"Have you ever had a dream that was meant to be...then finally found your voice, which spoke your destiny? Well, I've dreamed and I woke. In this new voice I spoke. And once I finally heard my voice, it was time to make some noise!" These are the lyrics to the 3rd song, "Screaming to be Free" on my EP, "Light Shines Through Me," which, as of TODAY, can be purchased on iTunes!
"Screaming to be Free" was produced by GI Joe and has a music video directed by Rodolfo Duran of DoneRightDigital.com, which is just waiting in the wings to be released! Once KFHox (facebook.com/kfhox) reaches the 1,000 fan mark, the video will be briefly released online and then available for purchase on iTunes!

This has been a crazy, exhausting, at time confusing, and long journey, and it's only just begun! I thank God to have finally found my voice and to have transitioned from iDream to iTunes!!!

Friday, January 20, 2012

No Woman, No Cry

Etta JamesCover of Etta James

In the span of a year, we've lost so many legends. For me, I feel like I keep losing parts of myself as I lost Amy Winehouse, George Harrison, and, today, the incomparable Etta James. But with these losses, I can't help but feel a growing responsibility to fill the voids these artists have left and create my own musical legacy.

My musical influences run a wide spectrum, ranging from classic rock and roll, motown, neo-soul, reggae, jazz, blues, gospel, new age, R&B, hip-hop, and basically everything in between. I've done my best to keep my ears and heart open to every musical genre. The beauty of music is that it's the only thing in our world that's truly universal. For about 3 minutes, it doesn't matter who you are, where you came from, what you've been through...we're all on the same page. It's the most magical moment of realization if you've ever been to a concert and look around at all the different kinds of people that all know the same words.

If you know me, you'll know that I do my best to put as much positive energy into the world as I can. I want to do the most amount of good with my time on earth as possible and I KNOW that music is my vehicle to do just that.

My last blog post was more somber than my usual posts, but when I woke up today and heard the news of Etta James passing, I was reminded of something that I had temporarily forgotten. I'm ALIVE! Seems simple, right? But honestly, just the fact that I'm alive to face another day means I've been given another opportunity to make this happen. Today, I began applying for a grant through BRIO to help create some new music. I'm looking under every rock until I find the resources to make this happen. I've also been applying for part-time positions to help sustain my livelihood while I do this. I had gotten really stuck on the notion that taking a part-time job doing anything, but singing, would de-rail my dream. I realize now the necessity of it in order to fulfill my dream. I've learned to let go of the resentment I feel towards surviving and replaced it with gratitude for the alternative skill sets that I have that will allow me to support myself and move forward full-force with my dream.

I recently recorded vocals to a track produced by Doue Carter entitled, "I Cry." I love the song, which I wrote in about 3 minutes after Doue sent me the track. It's one of those songs that just wrote itself. You can hear the undertones of Etta James' "I'd Rather Go Blind" on the track. In fact, I had to get that song out of my head in order to work out the melody line for the song. As I reflect on the life, legacy, and music of this beautiful woman, I thank God for the opportunity to work on my own new music.

Songs like "No Woman, No Cry" by Bob Marley have made me feel so much better on days like I've had lately. And though the title of my song would lead you to believe that it's a sad song, at its core, it's actually about tears of joy. It's about celebrating the fact that, as women, sometimes we cry because we're just so overjoyed by the love in our hearts. To give you an idea of what I mean, here's a taste of some of the lyrics, "I cry 'cause I love you, but you don't get it. You think I'm just being a girl. And I cry 'cause I'm happy. Just forget it. You're the biggest thing in my itty bitty world." So women, go ahead and cry! But once you're done crying, don't forget to smile and be grateful that we've been given another day to make it happen!

RIP Ms. Etta James

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Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Meet Me at the Crossroads

I've been writing less and less in the last year as you may have noticed. Putting a band together, planning an EP release party, booking and promoting shows...all while living out of my car...have proven to be challenging and time consuming tasks. And while I'm honored, proud, and blessed that I was able to survive all of it and pull it off successfully, I find myself at a crossroads.

Yesterday was the hardest day I've had in a long time. I started my morning off by going to the Sunshine Bronx Incubator in the south Bronx, which offers affordable shared office space for start-ups. In the last year, I registered KFHox as a small business in the Bronx. My vision was for KFHox to become an umbrella company covering an array of services including writing, publishing, and consulting. My success within the realm of social media in the last two years has shown me what I'm capable of. I've also really enjoyed the networking aspect of things and putting like-minded people that need one another together. It seemed like a natural transition for me to move into some kind of consulting and managing since I need to make money to keep a roof over my head. The winter's gotten much too cold to continue life in my Jeep.

I gave my elevator pitch of KFHox to Sunshine and left feeling pretty confident that this was what I needed to do to in order to take the next steps. Life post-11.11.11 has consisted of many steps in various directions searching for the next step. Once I got out of my meeting, I returned a call I had gotten from one of my former piano players, Neffee. She invited me to come over for a bit and said that we needed to talk. Instantly, I was sick to my stomach. I had no idea what she wanted to talk about and I was already feeling a bit overwhelmed by the meeting I had just walked out of, but I went because I wanted to chat and I was anxious to find out what was so important.

When I got there, she was playing my EP, "Light Shines Through Me." And while one part of me was happy that she was listening to my music, another part of me knew there was another reason that she was listening to it. She made small talk for a bit and we caught up on a few things since we had last seen each other. And then she started to talk about what we needed to talk about. She told me that she loved me as a friend and that I had a ton of natural talent. But for as talented as I am, I'm not serious about my training and maintenance of my voice. I sat in silence as she broke down the last year of my life....all the promoting and branding and social networking. She said, "You're DOING IT. You're really doing it, Kathryn." But all of this came at the cost of leaving me little to no time to actually be an artist. And while this is something I've discussed with several people over the course of the last year, it sounded different coming from someone else, especially Neffee. It's true. Without a manager or any team to speak of, I'm left to do it all alone. We talked about exercises that I need to incorporate into my daily routine and other things I can do to get my voice where it needs to be, and as our conversation was coming to an end, my phone rang.

On the other end of the phone was Kathy, the woman who helped raise me during most of my childhood. Kathy's basically like my second mother. She's saved my life in every way that a person can be saved...physically, emotionally, mentally, and beyond. She had called to talk to me about "the next step." After just having finished getting some tough love from Neffee, I was now on the phone with Kathy who was continuing on the same path. She knew that I had gone to that meeting in the morning and was calling to tell me, "Your time is NOW." She discouraged me from starting the business venture and told me I needed to find a manager. Everything she said supported what Neffee told me, which was that I needed to focus on my music, on my instrument, and on getting my music made. Management is the only way that can happen.

Both of these conversations came just weeks after continuous conversations with the guy that I've started dating. Once a producer of music, himself, he's been encouraging me to make more music, to focus more on creating. But the challenge of this is finding the right person (people) to create with. I've realized in the last year that I'm not normal or typical. While others focus on how they're going to pay their rent and go on vacations, I'm focused on how I can get people to listen to my music, how I can make more music, and how I can find others that want to make music with me. Music is more than a hobby to me...it's like breathing. Without it, I surely won't survive. I've realized that despite the fact that I hold two Masters degrees and plenty of professional experience, I will never live a fulfilling life without music in it on a full-time basis.

Today, I'm at a crossroads. I need to make money so that I can sustain my livelihood, but I refuse to do anything, but music. Something's gotta give.