When I first began blogging, it was more like a public journal than anything else. The truth is that I love to write and I really need an outlet. As much as I love the stage, writing can be even more cathartic at times. I've also learned just how much sharing my experiences has helped others.
It's hard to know where to start so I guess I'll just give a brief update on the latest and hopefully my writing juices will get back flowing once I start. I often tell others that it doesn't matter when or how you start...it only matters that you start. So here we go..
I guess I've been writing less as a result of reading more. Yesterday, I finished reading "Amy, My Daughter" by Mitch Winehouse. It was akin to watching The Titanic, where you know the ending, but go along for the ride and the love story. As I closed the book, my heart hurt. Reading her father's account of her addiction to heroine, crack cocaine, and alcohol (...and Blake) was like watching someone ride the most painful roller coaster of a lifetime. As my family has their own history with drugs and alcohol, I couldn't help, but feel thankful that that our journey was never that tumultuous or painful. I still couldn't help but feel selfish and wanting more music from my muse as I finished the book. How could I be so selfish? The artist-fan relationship is complex and dependent. I've learned some of these complexities along my own journey with my music and artistry. None of it's easy.
The book inspired me to start planning a fourth Amy Winehouse tribute show, this time on her birthday in September, as opposed to Halloween or the anniversary of her death, which is approaching in July. I feel so compelled to sing the music she can no longer sing, the music that I truly believe pained her to sing at certain points. The thing about being a song writer is that your life is mostly your inspiration. When your life is riddled with addiction and heartbreak, it can be challenging to get up on a stage and relive those moments over and over again, as cathartic as it may have been to originally write the song.
I'm currently working on my upcoming project, "Journey of a GemInEye," which is all about the dichotomy of my personality...the contradictory, emotional, and confused parts of my journey. I attribute much of this struggle to the duality of being a gemini, but the truth is that I think that it's just part of being human. We make mistakes, hopefully learn and grow, and sometimes turn around and do it all over again. My song, "Back With You" depicts that very struggle of the definition of insanity, going back for more despite knowing better. All we can do is wake up each morning thankful for another chance to get it right...or at least "righter."
I'm ten minutes away from a Skype meeting with Act Won, a talented producer from Chicago, who's been wanting to work together for quite some time. Gigs, recording sessions, and just plain life have kept us from working together for a long time. I'm hoping that I'll be able to channel some of this energy and inspiration from my recent musings over my musical inspiration into this meeting and forthcoming music. I guess time will tell. Until then...
(Amy Winehouse Tribute Show 2012 at Funkadelic Studios)