Pressing Reset

Image by yum9me via Flickr

Well, it's over.For anyone who has been keeping up with the blog, you've heard about the guy I've been dating for the last couple months...it's safe to say you'll never hear about him again. And if you've been reading my blog, you're also familar with something I call the ice cube theory...the ice cube is melted, shattered, and all over the floor...but I can proudly say the ice cube's state is solely due to him...I tried. I tried and tried...and refrained from name calling or hurtful actions...which is more than I can say for him. I guess I can come clean about the the fact that most of the reason I've been so down lately has stemmed from him. I'm not one of those girls who lets my whole world  be affected by a guy, but this time I gave too much too soon...and paid the consequences.

Lesson learned...moving right along. It seems appropriate that things should come to an end with him just as I am spreading my wings in other areas of my life..a new beginning. I've been diligently submitting to casting agencies and feeling the winds of change in the air. It's time to get back to me and the goals in my life. At times, we get so preoccupied with trying to make things in a relationship work that we neglect to make our own lives work. When you realize you're giving more of yourself to someone else than you are to you, it's time to press reset.

The Ice Cube Theory

Image via Wikipedia

Ahh, love...ain't it grand? Sometimes. I've got a ton on my mind today. Most of the thoughts swirling around in my head are about the guy I'm dating and the fight we got into last night. Fighting, although an almost inevitable part of any relationship, always affects me more than probably most normal people. I'm aware that I'm more emotional than most and just more prone to being affected by the figurative punches thrown during arguments (even if I'm the one throwing them).

At the end of a fight, it usually ends up being more about who "won" than even remembering what the fight even stemmed from. That being said, was it even worth having a fight if you don't remember what you're fighting about? Why are we more prone to fight with the ones we love than anyone else...seems like backwards logic. Although if broken down, we do generally spend more time with our loved ones than anyone else so I guess it's just a numbers game. Regardless of the reason we fight, I'm always reminded of the ice cube theory...a theory introduced to me by a woman who has saved my life on a million levels (but that's a story for another time).

Though it's not a theory I constructed myself, I do try to pass along the message of this theory whenever possible. I'm a visual person so the idea of picturing an ice cube just stuck with me...and hopefully it will stick with you, too. So as we're picturing this ice cube, imagine that the ice cube represents your relationship. It doesn't matter what kind of relationship it is...friend, boy/ girlfriend, husband, wife, siblings...whoever...it works for any relationship. But whatever relationship you're thinking of...it is now in the form of an ice cube, perfectly formed and even on all sides. It is the emodiment of a perfect ice cube...untarnished by ice scoops, being tossed into a glass, or dropped on the floor...perfect. That perfection is how you start every relationship...without any marks or imperfections.

The goal in every relationship is to maintain the form that you started with. For every unkind word or action, you slowly chip away at the ice cube. You can never un-say or un-do those words or actions once they happen. And once you chip away at the ice cube, you can never put it back. And so the ice cube, your relationship, is left with these marks, sometimes so many that there's barely anything left. And when you think of chipping away at your relationship that much, it's easy to realize how trust is lost, faith dwindles, and there's really no foundation left to sustain a relationship.

So just remember the next time you're about to say/ do something hurtful to someone you love....remember this first...you love them. Seems simple, right? But we all know, in our haste and feelings of anger, our tongues are swifter than our usual, level-headed minds. Try to catch yourself before you say or do something you can't take back...and forever alter your ice cube.